Ass2ass shirt

Product Description

aking inspiration Ass2ass shirt from the fashion capital of the world for a global event in France was always going to be fraught. A faux pas akin to comparing a cheesymite scroll to a croissant, or neglecting to tell an ally about a new submarine deal. It’s hard not to overstate this: the French team’s uniforms – a chic navy-blue suit and white shirt – were designed by the former Vogue France editor Carine Roitfeld in collaboration with the biggest luxury conglomerate in the world, LVMH. They will be custom-made in Italy by Berluti – a famous tailoring house. By contrast, the Australian blazers, skirts and shorts contain “stretch fabrics” and are made in China. At the uniform unveiling, nine athletes who are hoping to represent Australia in Paris modelled the uniforms, including sprinter Torrie Lewis (the newly crowned fastest woman in the country), Matildas striker Michelle Heyman, men’s rugby sevens captain Nick Malouf and Australia’s first Olympian in breaking (AKA breakdancing), Jeff Dunne.

Ass2ass shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

Unisex shirt

Women’s shirt

Longsleeve shirt

Sweater

Hoodie

In the Ass2ass shirt Shein EZWear collection, I find a super-short plunging V-neck dress split vertically from the waist to the hem with ruching. Long straps crisscross in a double X on the open back and cinch the waist in the front. The fabric looks like cotton jersey; it’s 91% polyester and 9% elastane (100% plastic). There are five colours available: black and brown – which are both, apparently, “HOT” – bright pink, royal blue and emerald green. The model is Photoshopped into Jessica Rabbit proportions, with a tiny waist, wide hips and enormous breasts, her collarbones jutting out several inches. She is tan and hairless, and she is headless. She poses in front of a bedroom set, crumpled white sheets, ivory macrame pillowcases, and drawings of flowers framed in gold. We see her as she sees herself in the mirror, angled to get a look at her whole outfit. She wears white sneakers, a miniature pink handbag and a gold necklace with a tiny red cherry charm. Below, under “customers also viewed”, a sea of identical headless models in black dresses reads like a Captcha image. Ibegan to fall in love with clothes in 2005, when I was eight. I wanted to wear bright colours and bold patterns that could make people smile or be drawn to my otherwise shy self. I was learning, rapidly, that clothing could do the work of personality. I went shopping with my mom at stores such as the Gap and Banana Republic, but their offerings were stoic and muted. Zara, which opened its first LA store that year, was different: its enormous glass windows were full of trendy, fun pieces and teenage looks I dreamed of wearing. When the Swedish brand H&M opened its first LA store the next year, I was primed for it. Here were the brilliant Zara clothes at child-allowance prices. I could take a $20 bill and come back from the mall beaming with a new outfit. I never thought about why the clothes were so cheap. I just loved that they could be mine.