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On Wednesday Animal PuppetsAnimal Puppets call animal control I don’t give a fuck shirt morning in front of Clovelly Surf Life Saving Club in Sydney’s east, Australia’s 2024 Olympic opening ceremony uniforms were revealed. With a squint and a little imagination, the concrete-paved beachfront could be the banks of the River Seine in Paris, where Australia’s Olympic athletes will sport the uniform in just 100 days. So long as you ignored the swimmers taking their morning laps, that is. (Reports suggest the Seine may be too contaminated to host swimming events.) For the 10th time, the opening ceremony uniform has been designed by Sportscraft in collaboration with the Australian Olympic Committee, plus custom shoes by Volley (its fourth Olympic partnership). On this occasion, the uniform was “inspired by Parisian fashion”, says Elisha Hopkinson, the CEO of APG & Co, the parent company of Sportscraft. “Our designs blend style with functionality, ensuring our athletes feel confident as they take on the world stage.”

Animal PuppetsAnimal Puppets call animal control I don’t give a fuck shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

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In some respects Animal PuppetsAnimal Puppets call animal control I don’t give a fuck shirt Shein resembles Amazon more than a fast-fashion retailer: its catalogue of merchandise is so expansive that it functions more like a search engine than a clothing store. It maintains no permanent physical storefronts, and as such is unconstrained by square footage, retail labour or rent. Low overheads mean low prices, and Shein is the place for the cheapest clothes in the industry. Even the user experience is similar, in the way that both Amazon and Shein feel junkified: pages are unpolished, with varying product listings and completely unpredictable product qualities. Shein is a microcosm of the internet and a sibling of the internet’s other most powerful retailer: weird, clunky and seemingly thrown together. Afriend texts me screenshots of a Shein sweater vest she ordered last year. It’s cropped, with bands of cream-coloured ribbing around the neck, armholes and waist, and patterned with brown argyle diamonds. On the website, the sweater is placed into a scene with black loafers and a paper with text in French, evoking an unimaginative fantasy of European life. It casts a fake shadow. “It was not a real garment,” my friend says. She discarded the vest as soon as it arrived. “The pattern was printed on. You could not wear it in public.”